May 2013
1 post
7 tags
When Parents disagree...
I forgot to buy a present for my daughters friend. Her mom isn’t happy. explained that I’m going through a divorce and court dates, etc. I’m overwhelmed…and only human. Besides - what are we teaching our children? If my daughter asks where is her gift from so and so I’d remind her that they are her friend and they came to her party. That is the gift. I was taught to...
April 2013
5 posts
Egg Shell Stepper: God hates divorce, but... →
eggshellstepper:
God hates divorce, this is a phrase most Christians are familiar with.
God tells his people that he only allowed it because of the hardness of their hearts. With that in mind, for the first time I’ve considered the consequences of my choice, does God approve? Although God does not approve of…
7 tags
Blissfully Unwed: Not Quite Divorce, or Rebirth by... →
blissfullyunwed:
This probably isn’t the kind of thing you’re supposed to talk about on the internet. When you post publicly about what your vagina is up to at least twice a week, though, you sort of lose your bearings when it comes to this shit.
Tomorrow will mark a month since my partner and I separated. An…
March 2013
7 posts
I will Survive . . . . with or without you .
A CULT OF PERSONALITY: I feel a rant of so many... →
defunctblackqueen:
I feel a rant of so many sorts coming up.
Ok, here it is…
How fuckin’ selfish are you?
I’ve been there for months, helping you mend your broken, bitter heart.
Holding your hand, guiding you through hellish days.
Forgiving your lies, effortlessly combining my life with yours.
Laying down,…
3 tags
I’m sad & sleepy
& no one loves me
the way I wish I were loved
Not just as a mother, friend or daughter.
But as a lover….
as a woman
February 2013
3 posts
1 tag
Is True Love Real?
January 2013
5 posts
8 tags
The Sky Is Falling....
This morning in NYC it was foggy. I love when it’s foggy out. It lends a dreamlike soft feel to everything. A mundane walk to drop my daughter off at school becomes a fantastical adventure complete with monsters (Garbage Trucks) and Fairies (Traffic Lights).
It started me wondering about my own dreamlike state in my life and in my relationship. Things are not very clear. Nothing is...
“The conversation between your fingers and someone else’s skin. This is the most...”
– Iain Thomas, I Wrote This For You (via nunmilk)
“Watch your thoughts, for they become your words. Watch your words, for they...”
– (via elsambo)
December 2012
2 posts
9 tags
a common link?
It is truly time for some re-evaluating
I can look back at my failed friendships, failed marriage and blame them. blame life. or take a look at me.
Yes I’m aware that it takes two to tango -
and every dissolution cannot possibly be all my fault.
But what role do I play in the creation of these failed twosomes?
Perhaps I purposefully enter into engagements which I know cannot last - on...
11 tags
“I love to smoke
smoking a cigarette is like
forgetting
when I hit rock bottom...”
– From “heartbeats” a French independent film about heartbreak
October 2012
5 posts
4 tags
WTF is wrong with me?
Oh my fucking God.
I just exposed my heart. To the one person with the most power over it besides me.
He’s gonna break it again.
I don’t ever learn.
He just doesn’t want me. Nothing to do about it. Just try to move on.
just try to move on babe. It’ll be alright. The pain will stop eventually. The pain will fade. This too shall pass.
Why do I want to love him so much...
God,
If I ever fall in love again….
Let it be for real
Let it be true
Let it be for keeps
Next time. Let me find my love.
From Oprah's Relationship advice:
Thanks to my Prince Harming Teacher, I learned in my next relationship I need to find a man who offers:
-Unconditional Love
-Emotional Support
Thanks to my Prince Harming Teacher, I learned in my next relationship I need to—on a daily and nightly basis—feel more:
-Of a connection emotionally
-in touch with his feelings
-Like he is in touch with my feelings
-Secure in our relationship
...
September 2012
9 posts
I'm sorry, what?
Explain it again.
You left me ALL alone.
All by myself
Why?
Why would you leave your baby?
I’m so sad. I walk the streets without you. Every street corner a constant reminder of the fun (and fights) we had.
I cook a meal and want you to taste it.
I put on perfume and want you to taste me…
How could you just walk away? Things weren’t that bad. You didn’t even give...
counting papers
you can tell how much pain I’m in
by how many cigarettes I smoke.
There are days when I smoke none. That means I did not think of you.
Today I lit 6. Which is quite a bit. This love/madness/sickness is a disease.
Time to get over it.
I want to love again
…..But I’m so scared….
4 tags
Dear Love,
There is not one day that goes by where you are not on my mind.
I adore you.
Even still.
I think what’s hardest of all of this is not the betrayal in itself - that hurts like a bitch though. It’s the loss of all that is good in my life. All those late nights watching dumb movies. Cuddling. Kissing. Loving. I miss you. I miss our plans. I miss the picking out the next apartment...
3 tags
I think about you today My dear.
Is it me you think of? (yes)
Is it me you dream of? (yes)
Is it my arms (yes) my lips (yes) my sex you desire? (oh yes)
hmmmm
Is it my heart you broke? (yes)
Are those your vows you broke? (yes)
Is it our child you scar? (yes)
Is this you? (yes)
Ahhhh. So.
Will anything ever change? (no)
Will feelings stay the same? (no)
Can mistakes be erased? (no)
...
Playing by the rules...
I’m always playing by the rules.
These “good” “ethical” “moral” rules that no one else plays by
I’m either winning or losing. But I don’t let myself exist in a gray area.
Guess that’s my loss.
Cause….
No one else is playing right.
Shit.
No one else is playing fair.
So - I sit here all alone while the degenerates gather below...
Romeo's Complex: Today, for a few seconds... I... →
romeoscomplex:
I closed a chapter of my life… and it hurt like hell.
But I guess life goes on and everything is about keep moving forward and never looking back.
So… if I think about it deeply enough, it’s kinda exciting not to know what the future holds for me. I lost the person I thought was the love of my…
July 2012
14 posts
“You have killed my love. You used to stir my imagination. Now you don’t even...”
– Oscar Wilde, the picture of Dorian Gray (via thedisparate)
You've Really Got a Hold on Me - Smokey Robinson
I don’t like you But I love you Seems that I’m always Thinking of you Oh, oh, oh, You treat me badly I love you madly You’ve really got a hold on me (You really got a hold on me) You really got a hold on me (You really got a hold on me) Baby, I don’t want you But I need you Don’t want to kiss you But I need to Oh, oh, oh You do me wrong now My love is strong now...
Progress
My tears flow so easily these days. Like a river nothing can get in the way…of me crying. But I no longer fight back the tears I let them come freely. Fall down my face. I follow them to that sad place and then I lift myself back up. Get my head together. I’m alright. One foot in front of the other. Progress is slow but there is progress. I can SEE it!!! I can FEEL it. God help...
“Sometimes you’re not afraid of letting go, you’re just afraid of accepting the...”
– (via sophieshine93)
I don’t even know if I want him to come home
I just want some Goddamn peace
I wish I didn’t miss him this way
or this much
Don’t feel like crying all the fucking time
and mourning the past
All I want is to feel better
I want to put this into a box and close it tight and never see it again
This pain that I feel
it’s all consuming.
Soon I will be able to
not...
oh how I wish he would come home
come say to me “hey baby - I’m here like I never left - I love you and let’s go”
that’s how it always was with us
and now its over
how can I get over it? When I’m not ready?
I should be ready
after all this nasty shit he’s done
always cheating on me
always abandoning me
always hurting me
But I stuck through
I guess I was...
Get Busy Living - or Get Busy Dying
1 tag
I love him. So so much. I know he cares about me. Just not in love with me anymore. But I wish - God I WISH he would want to work it out. But he won’t. He’s happy. I’m not. I want our life again. I saw a family on the train with their bags - on their way on a trip. It hurt. I started to cry. I want that back. I love him. I loved us. But he doesn’t love me. Not in that way....
Faceless Years
feminineflaw:
I cried for you this morning;
I won’t do that again.
I cried for you the day before
In an attempt to be your friend.
But we’re not friends, we’re lovers,
And without the love we are nothing.
Despite everything we’ve been through
You stopped feeling that special something.
So pack your bags and get the hell out;
There’s no room in my life for wasted space.
And even though...
“What happens when he’s your Prince Charming but you’re not his Cinderella ?”
– (via dontforgettoosmile)
